The Best 50 Insults

I first started compiling this long list back in August 2013 and they always made/make me laugh my head clean off.

The Best 50 Insults

I first started compiling this long list back in August 2013 and they always made/make me laugh my head clean off.

Like the guillotine. πŸ”—οΈŽ

Just clean off. :shock:

Any how, I figured I might as well get over myself and take all the credit for finding these gems and editing them to my pleasure.

Last sentence was kinda stupid, but yeah hope you enjoy sucka! :razz:

1. Do you annoy people as a hobby, or is that just your personality? πŸ”—οΈŽ

2. I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed. (For you Shakespeare lovers.) :lol: πŸ”—οΈŽ

3. Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. Make your carbon footprint smaller and SHUT UP!!! πŸ”—οΈŽ

4. I see you're playing stupid again. And you're winning. πŸ”—οΈŽ

5. How is it that you manage to carry your enormous ego up the stairs? πŸ”—οΈŽ

6. Would you like a side of EPIC with that FAIL? (For all you MMORPG addicts.) πŸ†’ πŸ”—οΈŽ

7. Let's play a game!! You go underwater and I'll count to one million! (For all the swimmers out there.) πŸ˜„ πŸ”—οΈŽ

8. How bout you slip into something a little more comfy for both of us…like a coma? πŸ”—οΈŽ

9. Bitch, you're like Mondays. Nobody likes you. (Cliche, I know) :roll: πŸ”—οΈŽ

10. If you were a game show, you'd be called No Deal. (OHHH.) 😁 πŸ”—οΈŽ

11. If someone said that I wasn't cool, I'd say, β€˜Cool is another word for cold. Hot is the opposite of cold. So if I'm not cold, then I'd have to be hot. So thank you.’ (You know you can pretty much pull this trick on any word, so word) :neutral: πŸ”—οΈŽ

12. Hide! The garbage truck is coming! (clearly a Sesame Street reference) πŸ”—οΈŽ

13. You warthog faced buffoon! (Used this before, dude laughed at me) :oops: πŸ”—οΈŽ

14. You clattering collecting caliginous clutter of uselessness! πŸ”—οΈŽ

15. You son of a motherless goat! πŸ”—οΈŽ

16. You, my friends are not only physically repulsive but intellectually retarded. πŸ”—οΈŽ

17. They should have put you in a jar glass on a mantlepiece. Shame. πŸ”—οΈŽ

18. You are a sad strange little man. and you have my pity. πŸ”—οΈŽ

19. Boy, sit your $5 dollar ass down before I make change! (I used this once, and I got laughed at) :mad: πŸ”—οΈŽ

20. If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you to the john and watch you take a leak. (OH SNAP) :twisted: πŸ”—οΈŽ

21. When I think of myself as a person, I think of a man and take away reason and accountability. πŸ”—οΈŽ

22. I don't give a shit about your idiotic conundrums. (true, true) πŸ”—οΈŽ

23. Ugh, you baboon faced bastard! πŸ”—οΈŽ

24. You tiny brained wiper of other people's bottoms! πŸ”—οΈŽ

26. You cantaloupe! (a little on the slow side there) :???: πŸ”—οΈŽ

27. You are clearly a wart on the nose of humanity. πŸ”—οΈŽ

28. You degenerate! (straightforward now) πŸ”—οΈŽ

29. You foul loathsome evil tiny cockroach! πŸ”—οΈŽ

30. You remind me of sweat from a baboon's balls. (descriptive!) πŸ˜„ πŸ”—οΈŽ

31. You malignant little ooze! πŸ”—οΈŽ

32. You know in the whole vast configuration of things in the universe, I'd have to say you're nothing but a skirty little spider πŸ”—οΈŽ

33. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything resembling a rational thought. Everyone who heard you has now become a little dumber. May God bless your soul. (I also used this once, and I subsequently ran into a door) :evil: πŸ”—οΈŽ

34. You must be the arithmetic man. you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. (for all you math nerds) :eek: πŸ”—οΈŽ

35. I never forgot about the first time we met, but I'll keep trying. :!: (KO) πŸ”—οΈŽ

36. He/She got her good lucks from his/her father. He was a plastic surgeon. πŸ”—οΈŽ

37. Well, thanks for dinner. I had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. πŸ”—οΈŽ

38. I'd slap you, but that might make you look better. πŸ”—οΈŽ

39. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with Poseidon's fucking trident. (Used this and made some grand laughs - success!) πŸ”—οΈŽ

40. As an outsider, how do you view the human race? πŸ”—οΈŽ

41. You have delusions of adequacy, friend. πŸ”—οΈŽ

42. Oh dear, it seems you have all the virtues I despise and none of the vices I admire. πŸ”—οΈŽ

43. You know, you occasionally stumble over the truth, but then you just quickly pull yourself up and carry on in life like nothing ever fucking happened πŸ”—οΈŽ

44. Somewhere out there is a tree that is tirelessly producing oxygen so that you can breathe. Sir, I think you owe that tree a big apology. πŸ”—οΈŽ

45. If I had to guess what chewbacca fucking a dead dinosaur sounded like, your music would come pretty close. πŸ”—οΈŽ

46. I could eat a bowl of fucking alphabet soul and subsequently shit out a smarter statement than that. (DANG) πŸ”—οΈŽ

47. You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity. πŸ”—οΈŽ

48. This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person. πŸ”—οΈŽ

49. You sir are as thick as a damn bull's walt. :?: (see Urban Dictionary's definition) πŸ”—οΈŽ

50. You are the reason some animals eat their young. :idea: (seriously, that's no joke - it's on Wiki!) πŸ”—οΈŽ